My daughter, age 5, told us today that she wanted to talk to her Pawpaw. She wants him to be alive when she grows up and, therefore, was dead set on talking to him about smoking. This totally came out of the blue. We seriously haven't been talking about this (not for a long, long while now). So it was 100% her decision. She told me her reasons and how she was going to tell him. She wasn't taking "no" for an answer. I asked her where she was getting this new found concern -- what suddenly awoke this passion?
She didn't know.
I told her that I was concerned she might hurt his feelings by telling him what to do. I even suggested that maybe she could, instead, talk to her Nana about smoking (since she quit two years ago). In all honesty, I was so concerned about hurting feelings that I was actually considering NOT letting her call him today. Then I realized something.
This is HER grandfather.
This is HER future.
This is HER decision.
Why in the WORLD do I feel the need to control (or censor) this lively, bright, strong-headed little girl?
Lately she's been telling us, "I want to talk to you like adults talk." And what we REALLY hear her saying is, "I want you to really listen to me. I have good, strong ideas. I am worthy of anyone's... full, undivided attention."
She's absolutely right.
So I liberated her...handed her the phone...and gave her some room to do battle.
I really try not to put many videos in my blog because I know they take time for my loyal readers to watch. Do you have time for this? I'm just so heart happy that I managed to catch some of her determination on this video. As you can see, she's eating her snack (sherbet) and is a little embarrassed when she realized the camera is rolling, but she eventually forgets about it.
Can you feel the growing lump in your throat, too? The conversation was much longer than this short little clip, but in a nutshell she listed her reasons, made her argument in love, and really can't see how anyone could disagree. Oh, and she wants a commitment (now!). I could see her anxiety beginning to mount as she discovered that a good argument may not be enough. However, I am so proud of her for speaking her mind, confronting in love, and staying strong in her truth. I can only HOPE to be just like her when I grow up!
She was a little concerned as she got off the phone, telling me that she didn't get a clear answer. But she's glad she spoke her mind. And she's stronger somehow. And now my eyes are filled to the brim with tears as I type this experience out because I'm absolutely astonished and amazed at the fury in her precious little heart -- what determination she has to protect her family from future pain and suffering.
And I DEFINITELY don't think this discussion is over. Not even a little.
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I’m a joyful woman who wears many hats, including: wife, mom, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, granddaughter, cousin, friend, teacher, librarian, and follower of Christ. I’m also an ex-public school teacher turned SAHM turned unschooling mom. Our little midwestern family is tremendously grateful for the liberties we have to home school, homebirth, breastfeed, co-sleep, baby wear, non-circ, delay or not vaccinate, and utilize non-punitive, grace-based discipline. We work hard to keep up with the ins and outs of healthy living. It was painful, but we took the red pill and still continue to find new truths daily. I teach just a few short-courses for the local college each year, read and write book reviews and blog on the side. And if you must know, I have an undergrad in music (BA), a masters in library science (MLS), and a masters in educational technology (MEd).