The Great Comment Controversy Conversation & Community

I'll preface my announcement by saying that I've, again, been looking all over the blogosphere these last few months -- attempting to find the best way to handle blog comments. Commenters are all so different. For example, many of you don't want to subscribe to a full comment feed for each post you comment on (don't blame you a bit, by the way) so you leave a comment and assume the blog author will respond personally via email. Some of you don't have your profile email enabled on google/blogger so that blog authors can simply hit "reply" and respond privately (you may have reason for this, I won't judge ya). Some of you don't leave comments, but you do read the comment questions and wonder why the blog author didn't answer them publicly. And some of you actually DO keep coming back to the original post over and over and over to check on what the blog author had to say to each commenter (wow, you guys are sure committed).

So how do I handle everyone's needs and expectations without bending over backwards???

I'm seriously considering moving to Disqus for all blog commenting options. I've noticed a number of blogs now use this comment service and once I saw how convenient it was and how many options there are, I was like Um, why wasn't I invited to the party?

I've had many issues with the traditional comment system.I used to respond to all comments inside my own comments, but as I mentioned above, loads of you don't want to subscribe to the whole comment feed or keep checking back for 2 or 3 days. So after seeing that most of YOU have been responding to my comments via private email, I totally jumped on that bandwagon. HOWEVER:

(1) to other readers, it looks like I didn't answer those who asked public questions here and...

(2) Oh, I wouldn't dare mention any names (Amanda, Sujata, Juli, Lisa, Becky, Willow and more - LOL) :wink: but a number of my dear friends don't make their email addresses available through their blogger profiles (sometimes for very legitimate reasons, mind you).

I KNOW I'm not alone in this reply issue because I see many of YOU are writing blog posts about your commenting frustration, as well.

I'm relieved to find that Disqus appears, at least, to fix all the issues I'm having daily. You can reply to a comment directly on your blog and it simultaneously privately emails your response to the person you're responding to. Readers can still subscribe to the whole feed if they'd like, as well.

Second, I recently clicked on the Disqus website and it immediately took me to my own disqus account where I could instantly see every single comment I've left for ANYONE using my Disqus account. They're all there -- so I can see where I've been and what conversations I'm involved in all week, month, or year long. And this is pretty useful because there have been comments I've written, in the past, that I've forgotten where I left them and I wanted to borrow pieces of it for a future post (and yet I don't want to subscribe by email to every single post I leave a note on). Now, as long as I use disqus to comment, I have a great overview of my year. How nifty is that?!

Third, it also has an option to lay out all comments like a discussion board so you can see who the author is replying to. Pretty nifty and all compartmentalized like us librarians and educators deeply appreciate. ETA: Check out Lisa's (from Crazy Advent. in Parenting) Disqus comments from earlier this week HERE.

Fourth, I like that I'm reading that Daniel Ha, of Disqus, continues to ask "How can we make Disqus work even better for you?" And as I'm looking around blogs who are writing about questions they've had about Disqus, I'm seeing more comment replies directly from Daniel. He even TWEETED me on Twitter when I mentioned Disqus. How great and attentive is THAT?!

Fifth, you can still personalize your account just like you did elsewhere with a picture, website address, etc.

There's plenty more...but I won't go through the entire list of great options. I guess I'll end with my final thrills: It's easy to use, painless to sign up for, and FREE. This seems like a no-brainer.

Oh yeah, Daniel, if you ARE listening, I am wondering: Can EVERYONE see my comment history or is it just me? I'd like to be the only one with access to my own comment history?

By the way, I found the following write-ups (both positive and negative) for anyone else considering making this change:

25 Reasons to Use Disqus

Comment Control with Disqus

Why Disqus is Winning the Web Comment Battles

Should You Use Disqus Comment System?

And if anyone wants to jump straight to the Disqus Wiki, you can do that HERE.

Anyone out there use Disqus and care to comment here? Pluses you've experienced? Negatives to warn about? I'd love to hear more before I decide to make any changes to my settings.

Disclaimer: Disqus has IN NO WAY suggested, encouraged, or prompted this post. They have no idea I'm writing it or even who I am. If a representative from Disqus happens upon this post, it's solely due to their brilliant search skills (and desire to serve their customers). In other words, it's completely coincidental. :)




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To-Do Tuesdays {4} Tot Talk Tuesdays {8}

I’m a participant in two Tuesday memes. The first is To-Do Tuesdays with Lisa from Crazy Adventures in Parenting. Here's my starter list for this week:

Call C (1 hour)
Contact P.B. regarding requirements
Re-email T re O3 and conference
Sort through two more boxes
Get sprout recipe
Submit HS paperwork
E-mail C regarding B.
Guest blog post for recipe (Thank you, Karen--don't give up on me!)
Awards blog post (almost done)
Get lost in bloggyland…daily, if you’re lucky! HA!

I’m also a continuing participant in Tot Talk Tuesdays started by Niecey of The Monkeys and Me.

I have one from my 5-year-old this week:

Me (speaking to hubby): Wow, from the looks of the weather radar, it looks like the thunderstorms are disappearing.
5-year-old: Mommy, how does the storm disappear?
Me: Well, it gets out there and rains most of the water out and then it sometimes goes away until it needs to rain again.
5-year-old: Oh, kinda like going potty, right?
Me: Um, right. (quickly adds the weather water cycle to our homeschool curriculum)

Another saying my 3-year-old uses constantly in place of "look at me" or "watch this."

"Mommy, SEE me!"

And I just love those words. They say so much more about really looking at our children and not just watching their new trick or how they look. Don't we all sincerely hope to "SEE" them?!

Another from my 5-year-old:

"And after eating our sandwiches, we'll be HOUSE FREE!" (instead of home free)

And finally, our one-year-old, who signs more than talks. (1) Lately he's become very good at telling us when he needs to go potty (thank you to EC!). (2) He's also begun signing when he's hungry (we really only worked on the sign for nursing, so he's inventing his own food signs). (3) And when he gets really upset (thinking no one's listening to his demands), he throws his little body on the floor (tummy down) and just plays dead (almost). Totally cracks us up!

Remember, if you want to join in on either of these memes, just click each image above to be taken to the main page for each one. Have fun!!




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Full, Undivided Attention

My daughter, age 5, told us today that she wanted to talk to her Pawpaw. She wants him to be alive when she grows up and, therefore, was dead set on talking to him about smoking. This totally came out of the blue. We seriously haven't been talking about this (not for a long, long while now). So it was 100% her decision. She told me her reasons and how she was going to tell him. She wasn't taking "no" for an answer. I asked her where she was getting this new found concern -- what suddenly awoke this passion?

She didn't know.

I told her that I was concerned she might hurt his feelings by telling him what to do. I even suggested that maybe she could, instead, talk to her Nana about smoking (since she quit two years ago). In all honesty, I was so concerned about hurting feelings that I was actually considering NOT letting her call him today. Then I realized something.

This is HER grandfather.

This is HER future.

This is HER decision.

Why in the WORLD do I feel the need to control (or censor) this lively, bright, strong-headed little girl?

Lately she's been telling us, "I want to talk to you like adults talk." And what we REALLY hear her saying is, "I want you to really listen to me. I have good, strong ideas. I am worthy of anyone's...
full, undivided attention."

She's absolutely right.

So I liberated her...handed her the phone...and gave her some room to do battle.

I really try not to put many videos in my blog because I know they take time for my loyal readers to watch. Do you have time for this? I'm just so heart happy that I managed to catch some of her determination on this video. As you can see, she's eating her snack (sherbet) and is a little embarrassed when she realized the camera is rolling, but she eventually forgets about it.



Can you feel the growing lump in your throat, too? The conversation was much longer than this short little clip, but in a nutshell she listed her reasons, made her argument in love, and really can't see how anyone could disagree. Oh, and she wants a commitment (now!). I could see her anxiety beginning to mount as she discovered that a good argument may not be enough. However, I am so proud of her for speaking her mind, confronting in love, and staying strong in her truth. I can only HOPE to be just like her when I grow up!

She was a little concerned as she got off the phone, telling me that she didn't get a clear answer. But she's glad she spoke her mind. And she's stronger somehow. And now my eyes are filled to the brim with tears as I type this experience out because I'm absolutely astonished and amazed at the fury in her precious little heart -- what determination she has to protect her family from future pain and suffering.

And I DEFINITELY don't think this discussion is over. Not even a little.

Do YOU??


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Empty

What, you don't believe me?


I'm serious. No lying here.

This is quite an AcCoMpLiShMeNt considering how FULL my reader was...

Look again (from another angle):




Of course, this DOES mean that it's stinkin' 12:52am and I STILL haven't blogged about our anniversary (or boobs) or any of the OTHER extraordinary events that have occurred in MY life in the last 48 hours.

But hey, at least I've read all YOUR blogs. Right?

Sleep tight.


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(o)(o) Boobaphobia

You know, I had a great post put together here with all sorts of links to different news articles in the media regarding "boobaphobia" during WBW and NBM. But this article, made mostly of pictures, explains this phenomenon so much better than the hundreds and thousands of words I've read elsewhere. Click the title below:


*** Breastfeeding is Offensive ***


P.S. Tomorrow is our 14th Anniversary!!! YEEHAAAAAAW!

National Breastfeeding Month (a partial re-post from 2008)

Hey kids! I found another lovely picture from my babyhood this summer. Considering the content of this re-post, this photo seemed particularly appropriate. Isn't it lovely? Look at the way she looks at me, her very first baby. Look at the way I'm gazing up at her, nestled gently in her arms, and feasting happily. I was only a few days old, but the connection and trust is already there. Can you see it? I love the way my tiny fingers are caressing her. Raise your hand if your babies have done the same while feeding! There's only one more day of WBW to go, but don't forget this month is also NBM. YAY, 25 more days of admissible boob talk. :wink:

Here starts the re-post:

For those who weren't already aware: August is the official National Breastfeeding Month and this first week of August is World Breastfeeding Week. This is my [6th] August to be a breastfeeding mommy. It's been a wonderful ride. Wheeeeee!

In the early 70s, breastfeeding was touted as old-fashioned, unclassy and downright "icky." Doctors, at that time, felt that formula was surely best. But some moms knew, deep in their hearts, that nature knew best. It was an uphill battle for this growing group of moms, but it wasn't long before the scientific studies began pouring in proving, without a doubt, that exclusive breastfeeding was far superior to any man-made substance created for infants.

I am so happy that my mom had the strength and courage to fight for her right to breastfeed us when we were babies. When it was suggested that she go to the bathroom to nurse (during church, no less) she would agree only if all of the bottle fed babies were also required to be fed by moms sitting on the toilet. To hear this and other stories make my heart swell with pride and my eyes well up with tears. Why, you ask? Because her determination paved the way for my rather easy and fulfilling breastfeeding days. Even when I had my first baby and hospital staff surrounded me pushing and pulling on my breasts, moving my baby this way and that, and even threatening to start us on formula if my milk didn't let down immediately--it was my mom who had the patience, the confidence, and the wisdom to reassure me that all would be well just as soon as we were home. And...it was.

I've breastfed through engorgement as well as semi-dry periods (pregnancy). I've had newborn blisters, experienced the slightly uncomfortable teething days, pumped bottles full of milk for days I had to be away and tandem nursed two at once. I've co-slept to continue feeding through the nights and during the days I've enjoyed baby-wearing my children in slings--allowing me to nurse anywhere in public without batting an eye. I've discreetly breastfed at the library, the swimming pool, the grocery store, in an elementary classroom...anywhere that my baby is hungry, (s)he will be fed.

I am extremely grateful to my parents and husband for taking so many lovely, intimate photos of my babies snuggling peacefully at my breast. I cherish these days immensely. I can't, for the life of me, imagine ever nourishing my babies any other way.

Dangers of not Breastfeeding (quoted from womenshealth.gov)

1. Recent studies show that babies who are not exclusively breastfed for 6 months are more likely to develop a wide range of infectious diseases including ear infections, diarrhea, respiratory illnesses and have more hospitalizations. Also, infants who are not breastfed have a 21% higher postneonatal infant mortality rate in the U.S.
2. Some studies suggest that infants who are not breastfed have higher rates of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) in the first year of life, and higher rates of type 1 and type 2 diabetes, lymphoma, leukemia, Hodgkin's disease, overweight and obesity, high cholesterol and asthma. More research in these areas is needed (American Academy of Pediatrics, 2005).
3. Babies who are not breastfed are sick more often and have more doctor's visits.
4. Also, when you breastfeed, there are no bottles and nipples to sterilize. Unlike human milk straight from the breast, infant formula has a chance of being contaminated.

Benefits of Breastfeeding

1. Breast milk is the most complete form of nutrition for infants. A mother's milk has just the right amount of fat, sugar, water, and protein that is needed for a baby's growth and development. Most babies find it easier to digest breast milk than they do formula.
2. As a result, breastfed infants grow exactly the way they should. They tend to gain less unnecessary weight and to be leaner. This may result in being less overweight later in life.
3. Premature babies do better when breastfed compared to premature babies who are fed formula.
4. Breastfed babies score slightly higher on IQ tests, especially babies who were born pre-maturely.
5. Nursing uses up extra calories, making it easier to lose the pounds of pregnancy. It also helps the uterus to get back to its original size and lessens any bleeding a woman may have after giving birth.
6. Breastfeeding, especially exclusive breastfeeding (no supplementing with formula), delays the return of normal ovulation and menstrual cycles. (However, you should still talk with your doctor or nurse about birth control choices.)
7. Breastfeeding lowers the risk of breast and ovarian cancers, and possibly the risk of hip fractures and osteoporosis after menopause.
8. Breastfeeding makes your life easier. It saves time and money. You do not have to purchase, measure, and mix formula. There are no bottles to warm in the middle of the night!
9. A mother can give her baby immediate satisfaction by providing her breast milk when her baby is hungry.
10. Breastfeeding requires a mother to take some quiet relaxed time for herself and her baby.
11. Breastfeeding can help a mother to bond with her baby. Physical contact is important to newborns and can help them feel more secure, warm and comforted.
12. Breastfeeding mothers may have increased self-confidence and feelings of closeness and bonding with their infants.
13. Breastfeeding saves on health care costs. Total medical care costs for the nation are lower for fully breastfed infants than never-breastfed infants since breastfed infants typically need fewer sick care visits, prescriptions, and hospitalizations.
14. Breastfeeding contributes to a more productive workforce. Breastfeeding mothers miss less work, as their infants are sick less often. Employer medical costs also are lower and employee productivity is higher.
15. Breastfeeding is better for our environment because there is less trash and plastic waste compared to that produced by formula cans and bottle supplies.

Other sources and websites for further reading:
La Leche League: http://www.llli.org/nb.html
Kelly Mom Breastfeeding Site: http://www.kellymom.com/
US Dept of Heath and Human Services http://www.womenshealth.gov/Breastfeeding/Breastfeeding.pdf


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