Anita Hedditch: The Oxford breech service
4 days ago
Them: Hello, is Brandon there? (Ugh, they obviously don't know my husband goes by "Lee." I consider putting my 3-year-old, Brandon, on the line just to mess with them.)
Me: No, I'm sorry, he's at work.
Them: Is this Mrs. Miller? (man, I shoulda put the kid on the line)
Me: Yes, it is.
Them: Well, we're just calling because we noticed you dropped your TV service. We're wondering what your reasons were.
Me: We've decided it's not something we need. We hardly watched it anyway. With prices going up across the board, it's nice to be able to lessen our load and drop something we didn't need.
Them: We can certainly understand costs being a factor. Prices really are sky high and everyone's having a hard time. That's why we're calling today to offer you another DishNetwork package. You could start again today for only $22/month. That's $180 savings over the entire next year!!!!
Me: (thinking: that's not nearly the savings we get if we don't have the service at all) No thank you. We're happy about our decision. We really don't need a TV.
Them: And we'd also like to offer you FOUR premier channels at no cost to you for your first three months starting back up. If you decide you don't need those channels after three months, all you have to do is call us back and tell us to cancel them.
Me: No, thank you.
Them: And because we know everyone is hurting a little bit after the Christmas holidays, we're happy to tell you that you won't have to pay anything for your service for the first two months. Those first two months will be absolutely FREE!
Me: (laughing quietly) Seeeeeriously, we're good.
(wondering if I should launch into all of the other reasons we're cancelling--you know--talk about all of the trash on TV and the horrible commercials and how my children quickly turn into mindless, lazy zombies after just one hour of TV-watching)
Them: And...if you still have your equipment at your home, we can start you back up right now. You'll have your entire service back up TODAY! Can I get you started right now?
Me: Look, I can appreciate what you're trying to offer, but no thank you. We're confident in our decision. Please put us on your "do not call" list, immediately. Goodbye.